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From Ken on Friday, March 21, 2008

March 13-18

We just received an e-mail “wake-up call” from our good friends Dennis & Cecile Kratohwil. Their e-mail stated “that they hadn’t seen an update since last Wednesday so are assuming all is going well enough.”

Quite honestly it seems like time is melting the pages off the past few days from my memory before I can have a chance to record them. I apologize for not keeping you more up-to-date. I will strive to do better.

One thing I have learned from all of this is when a loved one becomes ill, disabled, injured or whatever, it also has a profound effect on all the other folks that are close to that one individual. I know I’ve always taken the activities of daily life for granted because they are so second nature and habitual. Most of us have our normal routine… get up and go to work or to whatever endeavors in which we are involved and the ebb and flow of life seems to be fairly consistent. In our case, as I’m sure all of you at some point in your lives have experienced or will someday experience, our lives have changed dramatically.

Please do not take this as whining or complaining. It is not! Again, we feel so blessed and I know all of you fellow family members and friends feel the same way. Norma is a joy to be around, even though she’s a handful from time to time but it is a handful that we are very grateful to have.

It has been quite some time since I had an opportunity to review the web site to see what I last entered. It struck me when I opened the web site that the entries that Dan Pearson has been putting in for the various dates of Norma’s journal appeared to me to look like a tree and as those entries continue, the top of the tree hasn’t changed but the base of the tree has been growing stronger and taller with each entry. I found that very interesting and profound.

It gave me an opportunity to reflect again on one of my favorite books and one of the few that I’ve actually ever finished. It’s a book called “The Giving Tree” and it was authored by Shel Silverstein. I can’t remember if my brother Terry gave me this book or if Norma gave it to me, but I think it had something to do with the fact that I’m not very well read and they thought instead of challenging me with something that would be beyond my reach, it would be a good idea to start with something short and sweet. I must admit I loved the book because I truly felt energized by the large print, the short sentences and the simple illustrations. Please don’t take this as bragging but I’m proud to report that I finished this book from cover to cover in one sitting! For those of you who may not be familiar with this book, you may not know of what I speak as to what an accomplishment that truly was for me. For those of you who are familiar with the book and know me, I’m sure you’ll understand!

For those of you who don’t know the story, I don’t want to give it away so you might want to jump over this paragraph and take time to read this very special and important book. For those of you who are familiar with it, I want to briefly revisit the story. It’s a story about a young boy and a tree and their very special relationship over time. The boy is constantly looking to the tree for help and support and the tree is always willing to share what the tree has to offer with the boy…thus “The Giving Tree”! Over time, the boy grows older and continues to use up the tree and what it has to offer. By the end of the book, the boy has grown to be an old man and he has used up the tree and reduced it to a stump which he can sit on. I thought the book was amazing and the story was all about giving. My brother, on the other hand, who is much more advanced in his reading and writing skills and can debate on any topic, said at one point during our discussion about “The Giving Tree” that “This is a sick book.” I said to Terry, “I don’t understand. What do you mean it’s a sick book?” Terry retorted something to the effect that this is just a story that tells you how ignorant mankind is in not being able to manage the world’s resources. Mankind simply continues to take, take, take and at some point in time, there will be nothing left to take … just like “The Giving Tree” was reduced to a stump. I have to admit he grabbed my attention and I couldn’t really wholeheartedly disagree with his point.

However, from this experience, I’m putting a positive spin on this because it’s the giving part that is the most important part. There are no doubt people out there who will take and take and abuse their relationships with others. However, from my experience with what has happened to Norma and how she is courageously addressing her illness and is fighting back to recover, I’m looking at all the gifts that we’ve received from all of you and that again is what keeps us strong and keeps us going and growing! I must say I was somewhat disappointed when we had to close down Norma’s Guest Book due to the fact that web sites like this are eventually attacked by people who have nothing better to do than to ruin a good thing. At one point in my entries I further commented that those are the folks that need your prayers more than we do. Nonetheless, many of you are continually sending us messages, cards and notes of encouragement and we can’t thank you all enough! In case anyone needs this information, we can receive messages at ken.ireland@nmfn.com or by mail at Northwestern Mutual Financial Network, 1225 Corporate Blvd., Suite 100 in Aurora, IL 60505

I was also recently amazed and humbled when Dan Pearson, our webmaster and good friend from Northwestern Mutual’s Wheaton office, sent us an e-mail that was entitled “Norma Web Site Statistics” and I quote “From the totally useless information department: So far in March (as of March 11) there had been 21,282 visits from 817 different computers logging in to check up on Norma. He went on to state that there is typically a surge first thing in the morning and then again in early afternoon but most visits happen between 8:00 p.m. and 10:00 p.m.

So, by the way…how is Norma??! 

I’m going to give you a more detailed medical report after we return from UIC Medical Center on Thursday, March 20. We decided to have another CAT scan done in lieu of waiting until our scheduled April 10th visit.  We want to make sure that Norma is not having any water retention in her brain, which I believe is called hydrocephalus, and also not having any more small seizures that we may not be aware of.  Overall, she is doing extremely well in therapy and all the facets of her therapy.  Because of the damage she experienced from the aneurysm and the fact that the brain does not regenerate those damaged areas, it's just going to be a matter of time as to how long it will take for her to use or retrain other cells in her brain to pick up the workload of the ones that were irreversibly damaged.  That's why therapy is so important so that her brain can be retrained to do the work.  At our last visit, we continually heard that for now there will be no driving or working.  Inasmuch as she does not approve of the doctor's orders, she is following the doctor's advice a day at a time...even thought she challenges it daily!

As I mentioned, Norma is extremely alert, smiley and her sense of humor is perhaps stronger than it has been.  There may be some personality changes so it may turn out that some of these changes are even for the better!

Thursday, March 13

Thursday was another therapy day for Norma at Marianjoy in Wheaton.  Norma's sister Nancy came to be with us on Thursday for breakfast, but more importantly to attend Norma's therapy session as we were going to be meeting with a doctor by the name of "Dr. C" who specializes in brain aneurysms and injuries.  Nancy is very detail-oriented and excellent at taking notes so she was invaluable to us as we sat with Dr. C. in writing down what was discussed.  For those of you who have gone through experiences like this, you'll know that oftentimes different doctors have different methods of treatment, prescribe different medications and whatnot so we wanted to make sure that all of Norma's doctors are on the same page.  During our discussion, our Marianjoy Dr. C stated that the medication is on, which is an anti-seizure medication, should probably be continued for a bit longer than our neurosurgeon at UIC had advised.  With these conflicting views and not having medical experience, we decided the best approach would be to have both doctors get together and discuss this or at least both staffs get together and discuss this and that is why we're visiting UIC in the morning to take a precautionary CAT scan.  The bottom line is you don't want to take medication for longer than you need but you also don't want to be weaned off of  it too quickly.  Both approaches can have disastrous results.  Again, we ask you for your continued thoughts and prayers for Norma’s healing and to guide our thoughts and actions to protect her. Needless to say, it was a very informative and interesting discussion. Norma’s physical and speech therapies also went very well on Thursday.

We returned home for the evening to enjoy dinner and each other’s company. I had an opportunity to take a couple of photos that I thought you would find entertaining. The first one is of our neighborhood pet raccoons who heard Norma was not feeling well and decided to pay her a visit. (They had been absent for weeks!) It was a light night tonight. There were only four that came for a mid-evening snack. I know it is not very bright on my part to be feeding raccoons but please remember I did read “The Giving Tree” in one sitting. Four hours very well spent!

The second photo is of Norma and my Mom who are ready for bed. Mommer had just finished washing her hair and wrapped her head in a green cloth.  While I was taking this photo, I asked Norma to look at my Mom and then try to guess what we were going to be having for breakfast in the morning….Norma looked at my Mom, pondered the question, a smile came over her face, she looked back at me and proudly stated, “PANCAKES?” We all laughed hysterically. There is nothing like a good belly laugh. However, I’m sorry to report we did not have pancakes for breakfast but we had excellent coffee cake which my mom has been picking up almost daily from the Jewel. Another thing that happens through an event like this is we’re all going to ultimately gain at least 30 or 40 pounds. Norma had a good night’s rest on Thursday night.

Friday, March 14

Friday was another scheduled day of therapy starting from 2:00 p.m. to 4:15 p.m. We were very excited and happy to know that our good friends Rex and Mary Doty, who now reside in Las Vegas, Nevada, were in the area visiting for the weekend to attend a surprise birthday party for Rex’s sister. I think it’s safe for me to spill the beans at this point because that party was supposed to happen on Saturday or Sunday. Rex and Mary, we hope that went well. When we heard Rex and Mary were coming, they wanted to know if they could stop by and visit with us and we said that would be awesome. We had a great visit from about 10:00 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. and it was just wonderful to catch up on what’s been going on in their lives. It’s always great to see good friends. We can’t thank Rex and Mary enough for their prayers and their support. They’ve also been very involved in sharing Norma’s story at their church and we’ve even been contacted through Norma’s Guest Book and other e-mails from folks that we don’t even know that are connected with Rex and Mary – truly a gift!

After Rex and Mary departed to be with their family, we departed for Marianjoy for Norma’s sessions. Physical therapy went very well. They continue to challenge her and she’s way ahead of the curve on the physical therapy side. Again, you know how blessed you really are when you’re at a rehab facility and you see people who are younger than Norma who are using walkers, wheel chairs and canes. Norma also had a 45-minute session for self-imposed physical therapy so she used a couple of the stationary bike machines and also the treadmill. She did well on all fronts. I’m also attaching another photo showing her smiling face as she moves toward recovery.

Her speech therapist, Elizabeth, had a one-on-one session with Norma to make sure she stays focused on the task that she needed to perform. Elizabeth is very good at giving Norma homework assignments so she gave her several word searches, puzzles and stories to read over the weekend.

Friday afternoon, we returned home to be with Mom Ireland and just took it easy. We had “mustgoes” which is our saying for leftovers. Friday night was laid back and uneventful and we had a good night’s sleep.

Saturday, March 15

Saturday morning we had a pleasant surprise. Our good friend Sandy Krebs brought us meals on wheels. She took the time out of her day to give us another gift. She dropped by Reuland’s and picked up some beef, potato salad, broccoli salad and some buns and we ate on that, Sandy, for three days and even had some help with it from other family members. She also made us some homemade pastry desserts which are terrific. (Norma loves bakery and pastry!) Thanks so much. It sure makes things easier! The rest of Saturday was again a day of relaxation for us. It gave me an opportunity to try to catch up on sorting some paperwork and bills, etc. that I have had a difficult time getting to. Norma did a couple of her homework assignments and watched the golf channel and the Cubs and the Sox. Of course, as you are aware, the Sox cheated.

Sunday, March 16

Sunday we were able to get out of the house. It was great! Our niece, Becky Bicknell, and husband, Mike, invited us over for dinner and they cooked some excellent marinated pork tenderloin which was fantastic. There was risotto? (kind of like a potato thing) and a very nice tossed green salad. To top it off we had ice cream cake from Baskin Robbins. Out of this world! If you’re looking for a very talented orthodontist and someone whom also qualifies as a five-star chef, give me a call and I’ll set you up with Mike and Becky. We also enjoyed the company of their daughters, Morgan and Macy, who are tons of fun. This gave my Mom an opportunity to head out to my brother Terry’s to spend some time with him as she had not been out to their home since February 8. They enjoyed a good visit and dinner out and we did too. We all collectively came home about the same time. We arrived at about 8:30 p.m. or 9:00 p.m. from Mike’s and Becky’s and Mom came in shortly thereafter. We were all worn out so we crashed out and got ready for Monday.

Monday, March 17

On Monday our Batavia store’s Assistant Manager, Amanda Birnbaum, came over to help out again. She again brought very good food which got us through both lunch and dinner. Amanda also spent time helping Norma get prepared for her therapy sessions on Tuesday by helping her complete some of her homework assignments. I had good intentions of heading into my office to do work there but it’s amazing how fast the time goes with the extra chores. I ended up staying home again to continue to work on the paperwork side. I also tried to make some phone calls to clients and others. About once a month I play poker with some lifelong friends (Mike Mudry, Pete Andrews, Dave Augustine and Dave Petersohn) so Amanda stayed back to help my Mom with Norma. Amanda’s husband, Gary, who is our store manager at our Batavia store also came over after work to join them for the dinner Amanda had prepared for us and they enjoyed watching “Dancing with the Stars”. This gave me some time to be with some old friends. When I returned home at 11:30 p.m., I found Norma sitting up in bed and smiling, reading her “Left Behind” series. She’s almost through book nine. It’s a wonderful series and I know my limitations. I can barely get through one chapter in one sitting let alone the whole book.

Tuesday, March 18

On Tuesday, good friend Carolyn Dial came over and arrived between 10:00 and 10:30 a.m. Carolyn spent a lot of time with Norma in making sure that she completed her homework assignment for her Tuesday therapy sessions at Marianjoy. Carolyn was also kind enough to take Norma to her session solo. This allowed me an opportunity to stay at home and get 4-5 hours worth of paperwork completed. This was really very helpful. When they returned from Norma’s therapy session, Carolyn said that Norma did very, very well. Norma beamed with her accomplishment! It’s always great when the teacher, who temporarily becomes the student again, does well – it looks great on their resume!  Tuesday night is Idol night so the three of us enjoyed two hours of Idol. Then time to wind down and get ready for another good night’s rest.

To close out this week’s entry, I would like to share another example of the kind of giving we’ve been receiving. Many, many years ago when Norma and I resided in Crest Hill, we used to spend several weekends, especially during the summer, camping down at the Coal City Area Club. We’d take our little dog Ruffles who was a Papillon breed (French word for butterfly wings and that’s how her ears looked). She loved to cuddle up with us next to the campfire and just chill. One particular night we were camping out and sitting next to our cozy, warm fire and Norma noticed a family nearby that was doing the same, except they were making s’mores and had all different kinds of pie fillings like strawberry and blueberry. I remember Norma commenting, “Gee, I like blueberries!” The next thing we knew, we were at the other family’s fireside and Norma was happily eating blueberry turnovers. It turns out that this is how we met Ralph and Lela Halderson. What a wonderful family! We became very good friends. Time has drifted us apart somewhat because we don’t have time to camp anymore and Ralph’s and Lela’s children are all grown but I think they still probably enjoy boating and camping, etc. as Ralph and Lela have property on the Kankakee River and enjoy that to this day.

Ralph was the Superintendent of the Richland School District which was the school district where we resided. Ralph did a brilliant job of making sure that he maximized funding available to our school districts because he was committed and took the time to make sure that those funds became available to the students and this made it a much stronger school district. Work ethic like that is hard to find these days but that was his resolve and he was terrific at it. The reason I share this story is because Ralph recently called me to ask me some questions as it relates to the kind of work that I do, since Ralph and Lela have done some business with me over time (thank you, Ralph and Lela). When they discovered that Norma had suffered an illness, they immediately asked for her web site information as they, like you, wanted to stay connected to see how she was doing. Shortly after this, Ralph and Lela sent us the following email:

(Note: Pictures are not attached on Norma’s website due to technical difficulty)

These are the kinds of things that just overwhelm me, give us strength, and helps us to feel loved and connected. It is also a confirmation that most people out there are really, really good people that really care. To all of you kind souls, just another big hug and a big thank you.

I just had a thought…I know that’s dangerous…but if this continues, after getting a month’s free rent in Chicago at Mary & John’s place, as well as the use of Dr. Dave & Kalpana Bicknell’s condo, and now we’ve got free condo offers in Florida…Gee…maybe Norma and I can milk this to its fullest. Maybe we can end up with free housing and be able to travel just about anywhere we want. I don’t know about all of you, but gifts like this really give me goose bumps.

It’s Wednesday afternoon and I just happened to leave our Joliet store, as I was down this way for appointments today, and Joanne Stockenberg’s sister, Lynnie Fuller, who is our product trainer for all of our stores and just an awesome person as well, came up and gave me a big hug. She had just returned with Joanne from the Orlando NSSEA convention that we were all supposed to attend before this happened and she stated that “You wouldn’t have believed the amount of love that was felt for Norma and you guys while we attended the trade show. People were coming up in the aisle to see how Norma was doing and they were trying to track her progress on the web site and she said it was just remarkable”. I said to Lynnie, “Gee, that really gives me goose bumps!” and Lynnie replied, “Well, it gave us God bumps”. I said to Lynnie, “I like God bumps better than goose bumps…can I use it in my update?” Lynnie said, “You God it!” So please, keep the God bumps coming and we’ll try to give you some in return. As always, we can’t thank you enough for your prayers and support.

Love,

Norma and Ken

kenireland2@aol.com

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