God doest have a sense of humor! This past weekend, on Saturday, I was blessed with a huge hard “red spot” on the tip of my already enlarged nose. It’s one of those “bumps” that you don’t “nose” whether to just let it be…or perform “surgery” on in the privacy of another bathroom?

I chose door #2. So while Norma and I were preparing for bedtime on Saturday night…I decided to remove myself from our master bath and go to our other upstairs bathroom. “I’m goin’ in, Baby…I must nip this “blossom” in the bud!”

I put on my surgical glasses…(okay my reading glasses), turn up the lights to the max and “pass” on the surgical gloves so I can get a firm natural grip! “Grip it and rip it” as the golf pros say!

Surgery completed, I turn off the lights in bathroom #2 and head back to master bath #1. Along the way, I’m saying to myself, “I should have left it alone.”

I arrive in our L-shaped, double-vanity bathroom with fully lit mirrors above both sinks, to find Norma looking at herself in her mirror. She is closely examining her scars from her surgery and giving her hair a pep talk to grow faster. I walk into our bathroom with my “surgical” Kleenex covering my nose in an attempt to stop the bleeding. I now uncover it to examine my surgical skills as well as my decision “to go in”.

It appears to be twice as big and is now larger with a deeper reddened area. It is glowing...and it has a hole in the center that to me looks to be the size of Mount St. Helen’s volcanic crater! Call 911!!

I glance over to see Norma gazing back at me with a big smile. She looks at me, then back at her reflection and says, “Maybe we could join the circus?! She then begins singing that circus calliope song. I know she just had brain surgery on February 9, but she is making remarkably good sense to me already!

I’m chalking this experience up to bad karma. My reference in our last update regarding “not wanting to play Todd Merrifield’s silly little reindeer games” has come back to bite me. If it was December 24th and Rudolph was sick, I’d be the first call Santa would make. I always try to look for the silver lining in every “cloud” (at least since 2-8-08): We won’t need the flashlight tonight if Norma is looking for lost cats!

Time to shine some light on Norma. Our last update brought us through Thursday, April 3.

I’m staying home from work again today so Norma and I can go to her therapy session at 2:00 today. Norma spends one hour on her computer checking for flight times for the upcoming Vegas Educational and Gift Showcase sponsored by NSSEA. Although I have repeatedly shared with Norma that she cannot return to work until her physicians give her the okay, she still continues to press onward.

On Tuesday, April 8, we will be meeting with Dr. “C”, Marianjoy’s lead doctor, to see if this is even an option. Norma has been given permission to fly – but not to work. So if Norma is allowed to attend…it would only be for recreational therapy to see old (and young) friends. At all costs we want to protect Norma from overload so we need to seek medical and professional advice on this.

I so admire Norma’s passion and work ethic. Many of us recently celebrated the “Passion of the Christ”…and she ‘doest’ have the passion. If we could bottle it, we would gladly give it away because in my humble opinion, our country is in deep “dew dew” due to lack of work ethic and passion…and just doing the right thing. Integrity is in a tail spin and we had better pull out of this dangerous trend!

Okay…I’ve stepped off my ‘soap box”.

The remainder of Friday is a quick stop at Quiznos for lunch, then over to Marianjoy from 2:00-4:15 p.m. (speech therapy, physical workout time for exercise and lastly…occupational therapy), then on to home for “must goes” for dinner and relaxation and a good night’s sleep.

Starts out with a small red bump on my nose.

We have breakfast. Norma and I decide to give Mommer a break so she can get home and also run some personal errands.

Road trip! Norma and I drive to Fox Valley to Park National Bank. Then on to Grant’s Hardware with a TV question for Tim, our sales rep. Then it is on to the Crest Hill Chalkboard to make a quick stop for mail. We don’t stay long but Norma gets another big hug from Lynnie Fuller, our store trainer for all four stores. (I forgot to say thanks to Lynnie on our last update for her continuous smiles and ongoing efforts to keep our staff up-to-date and trained on all of our products – So thanks, Lynnie!)

Next we head over to see our nephew Eric in Plainfield. He has two tickets for the Antique Advertising, Slot-Machine & Jukebox Show at Pheasant Run in St. Charles that we can use today. More importantly, Norma’s car is in his garage and she hasn’t driven it or seen it for nearly two months now. Bonus…she finds her silver plated watch for which she’s been searching for eight weeks. It was in the car. Guess who wants to drive home?? Request is denied by officer Munson, who is a sergeant on the Plainfield Police Department. (Eric has been hoping for years to have an opportunity to “cuff” Auntie Norma. He’ll have to wait for another day!)

We depart for the Jukebox show which turns out to be fun and worthwhile. They have a lot of old juke boxes, restored pinball machines, vintage records, old games and memorabilia, etc.

We leave at 5:00 p.m. to go home to relieve Mom so she can attend a local barn dance…84 years young and still “doin’ the dance”. She inspires us and we love her dearly!

Norma and I hang out doing odds and ends and also enjoy the NCAA college basketball semi-finals. We both entered our annual basketball pool through my Northwestern Mutual office. When the basketball dust had settled at the end of the night, out of 53 entrants, Norma had risen from 6th to 1st place! She picked both Kansas and Memphis to be in the finals and Kansas to win it all! If Kansas wins, she finishes 1st. If Memphis wins, she’ll finish 8th (no prize-no glory).

The silver lining is that I and one of my assistants, Debbie Dewane, are tied for 5th place. We both have Memphis winning the final. If Memphis prevails, we will finish tied for second place with a total score tiebreaker to determine 2nd and 3rd place “prizes.” Debbie guessed 152 points…I guessed 129 points.

We are looking forward to Monday’s championship game. It should be fun to watch. We will be pulling for the underdog Kansas Jayhawks. I think it would be fabulous if the “kid” that just had major brain surgery wins the pool.

We sleep in and make it to 11:00 a.m. mass at Holy Angels. We have so much to be thankful for!

Afterwards, Mom, Norma and I drive to Geneva to have brunch. This time we go to Egg Harbor Café on Third Street…another very good choice. Norma orders eggs Florentine. I think to myself that it’s been almost two months since Norma felt the thunder. Breakfast is served!

I don’t know where some of my crazy thoughts come from…but they just “show up.” As I’m gazing at Norma’s eggs, I think back to a very unflattering picture that was taken of Norma in the hospital. I remember that Norma was still very critical and it was a very tense time for all of us.

I was with Norma and our nephew Eric, who is a prankster after my own heart (and I believe the papparazi was also in the room with us) while Norma is asleep for one of her (at the time) usual two-minute naps. Eric and I (and the paparazzi) are in desperate need of a little levity. Norma is lying flat on her back, sleeping with her mouth wide open (the unflattering part). Eric spots the latex gloves on the wall…and the attached photo* will explain itself…Bad paparazzi! Bad!

(* - Webmaster note:  The abovementioned photo is not posted because, if the person in that photograph ever saw it, the life of that paparazzi would be significantly shortened.  Any jury would surely agree that significantly shortening the life of the one who took that photo would be "justifiable.")

(The photo actually was hilarious.  It showed inflated rubber gloves placed right next to the head of the paparazzi's sleeping wife, making her look like a chicken.)

So I’m in the restaurant thinking to myself, “What came first…the chicken or the egg?” Well in our case, it was the chicken and then the eggs.

I realize that by sending the papparazi “chicken” picture of Norma to all of you, this will put me at serious risk in the not-too-distant future. Life is all about taking risks!

My purpose here is to attempt to lighten your day…to give you something back for all you have given us. We are big believers in the power of prayer and laughter. I still believe that we, as a culture, are at our best when we are facing our worst. So try to keep laughing. It will lighten your load and brighten your soul.

Our lifelong friend, Pete (Otay) Andrews, stopped by several days ago to drop off a check. I was overwhelmed…until I noticed it was payable to Northwestern Mutual for Kathy’s 2007 IRA contribution…thanks anyway, Pete and Kathy! He said, “How come you’re not putting in any ‘questionable’ or ‘unflattering’ pictures of yourself?” I assured him that I had plenty of material but that it hadn’t crossed my mind. So, in an effort to be fair and save my marriage, I’m attaching two unflattering pictures of me for your enjoyment.

This is how I’m going to look when Norma realizes that I sent you all the papparazi UIC photos…, “KEN IRELAND…!!! YOU DID WHAT??!!

Sunday after brunch, we make a couple of stops on our way home for basic necessities like malted milk balls, chocolate covered raisins, licorice sticks and oh yeah, some chicken salad…then on home to putz around getting ready for Monday.

Amanda Birnbaum arrives at 10:00 a.m. with a dinner planned for later tonight. We spend some time planning out the rest of our day. I need more time to make phone calls and do “paperwork.”

So Norma and Amanda head out to do some “power shopping” and do lunch at the Corner Bakery in Geneva Commons.

Mom gets a break as well and goes home to do laundry, etc.

Our plan is to convene back at our home, prepare dinner and watch the “Big Game” – NCAA Finals with Kansas vs. Memphis for the national championship title. As previously reported, Norma wins first place if Kansas wins. We are all pulling for Kansas. Here is a brief summary of the game!

Memphis is favored over Kansas, at least by the “experts,” due to their 38-1 record…the first time any college basketball team has posted 38 wins in a season – ever – in the history of the game! Experience and athleticism are also on Memphis’ side. But how does one measure “heart”?

The game is great. At half time, Kansas leads Memphis by 5 points. Amanda has dinner with us but she heads home at half time. In the second half, Memphis makes their move. The game goes back and forth with several ties and lead changes. However, with less than two minutes to play, Memphis is up by as many as 9 points. It looks like Norma will fall from 1st to 8th. I really wanted Norma to win…not for the “prize” but just for the sake of winning. The fact that God led her through major brain surgery on Saturday, February 9, and that on March 19, she’s able to make NCAA basketball picks that actually make sense, is incredible to me…a miracle!

With two minutes remaining, I decide to take over “control” of the game. I begin vocally “assaulting” the Kansas coach and players along with the announcers, who no doubt want Memphis to win! Surely they can “hear me now,” as can my Mom and Norma, as I holler instructions through our big screen TV directly into their brains via verbal mental telepathy. (I learned this from friend and fellow associate Chuck Solberg)! Mom and Norma tell me to settle down. It’s just a game…and lo and behold…I settle down and relax…and I give up control.

To our amazement, we watch as Memphis players miss four out of their last five free throws. We watch as a point is taken away from Memphis due to a reversal of a three-point play upon further review by the referees. It is changed to a two-point play. Then with 16.8 seconds left in regulation and trailing by only 3 points…Kansas drives the length of the floor and Chalmers buries a three with 2.1 seconds remaining. Time runs out…”We’re going to overtime, Baby!!!” and Norma still has a chance to win! We go (are) crazy!!

I’m sitting there with Mom and Norma and we’re having a great time. It has been an awesome game, regardless of the final outcome. You hate to see either team lose when they have both given all they have to give…both teams have played their hearts out…and again, how do you measure heart and soul?

As we watch Kansas take over the lead in overtime, part of me is asking how is this possible? Kansas was down by 9 with less than two minutes to play – improbable! So I ask myself…is the answer behind Door #1? Blind luck? Behind Door #2? Divine intervention? I’m going with Door #2 again…it’s a 50/50 proposition and so far, those odds have been very, very good for us!

As Norma said…settle down. It’s only a game…kinda like life. How will each of us choose to play it? Hopefully, we’ll play nice with all the “other kids”. Hopefully, we will all learn to not take life too seriously and learn to laugh at ourselves. Besides, if you don’t laugh at yourself, the rest of us will do it for you! Let your guard down, take some risks in life and live large. Keep your God in the center of your life…and appreciate HIS sense of humor. HE IS AN AWESOME GOD!

Later…

Love

Norma & Ken

kenireland2@aol.com